Examining the many parts of one whole memory and how each part can be experienced alone!
I have broken down the different parts that make up one whole single memory, so I will refer to each individual aspect of a memory as a "Part." This is not rocket science and does not come out of a textbook, however this is my own description of the ways that our systems operate, (both multiple and non-multiples).
I have never heard any one else describe some of these parts of memory before, but I think that it's important for non-multiples to understand just how separated every persons mind can be.
One whole memory can be broken down into many different parts which are the five senses that we all know about, that are sight, sound, taste, smell and touch. However there are even more parts that make up a whole memory. These other parts are body, emotional and spiritual.
1. Body memory - The body part is one that remembers a physical sensation, such as pain, nausea and burning.
2. Touch memory that can only remember how something feels to the touch such as soft, hard, cold or hot.
3. Emotional memory - The emotional part feels the different emotions, like happy or sad, lonely or afraid.
4. Spiritual memory - The spiritual parts is the one that reaches way down deep into our soul, and is an experience rather than a mere feeling.
5. Hearing memory - The hearing memory is one that recognizes and remembers sounds and noises!
6. Smell memory - Of course this is the memory that gets triggered with a familiar aroma!
7. Visual memory - And this is the memory that can recall and remember sights! Our spiritual part experiences the euphoria of an emotion, such as joy, excitement, to be in love rather than to only like, and to experience anger and fury rather than to simply be unhappy or sad. Our spiritual part is the emotional passion within us!
All of these parts work together to form one whole memory and they are all triggered by our outside world. However each part has it's own memories, for instance looking at a picture from your vacation might trigger your sight parts memory (as a familiar vision). But if none of your other parts have been triggered, (nothing from the picture seems familiar to any other part or any of your senses) then it only becomes a familiar picture instead of a whole memory of any certain place.
A good example of these different parts working separately, and then being triggered to form a whole memory could be going to a theme park. When you first arrive at the park, your emotional part (emotional memory) is triggered by your site, sound and smell parts and your emotional part remembers that it is a fun place to be and you're happy to be there. And then your body part (body memory) is triggered when your sight part is triggered by the roller coaster that you see.
And then your body part remembers actually being on the ride before, and how it felt to your body to zoom up the ramp and then down and how dizzy you may have felt at the end of the ride. And finally that spiritual part (spiritual memory) is triggered and you remember what a wonderful, exciting, joyous experience it was before. What a rush!!!
All of our parts memories can be felt or experienced alone or in conjunction with any one, two or even all of the above. However for a person who has developed the unique defense mechanism, (DID) each of these parts memories can be very much separated and felt or experienced totally on it's own and without triggering the other parts memories.
Symptoms of DID
This list of symptoms are not signs that a person has MPD/DID, they are only indications that you may be suffering with some form of mental disturbance that may require professional intervention.
However most people who have MPD/DID seem to suffer with these and other symptoms. So please be cautious about "self diagnosis" when reading this page.
Some of the symptoms that most survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder have in common are:
1. Dissociation - is the primary sign of MPD/DID and is exactly what is happening when a person has this disorder, which is why it was renamed "Dissociative Identity Disorder." But the presence of alter personalities is the one characteristic that defines multiple (several) personalities.
2. Amnesia/severe Memory Loss
3. Confusion
4. Anxiety disorder is a blanket term covering several different forms of abnormal anxiety, fear, phobia and nervous condition that come on suddenly and prevent pursuing normal daily routines. Amongst the different forms of abnormal anxiety are:
Panic Disorder is a period of intense fear or discomfort, typically with an abrupt onset and usually lasting no more than thirty minutes.
Agoraphobia is the term used to identify people who are afraid of public spaces or of situations often associated with these spaces.
Social phobia or Social Anxiety refers to feelings of fear, apprehension or worry about social situations and being evaluated by others.
Specific phobia is a generic term for a kind of anxiety disorders that amount to unreasonable or irrational fear or anxiety related with exposure to specific objects or situations.
Generalized anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder that is characterized by excessive and uncontrollable worry about everyday things.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive drive to perform a particular task or set of tasks, compulsions commonly termed rituals.
Post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] is a term for certain psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful experiences that the person experiences as highly traumatic.
5. Eating disorders are a compulsion in which the main problem is a person eats in a way that disturbs their physical health.
6. Mood disorder is a condition whereby the prevailing emotional mood is distorted or inappropriate to the circumstances.
7. Difficulty concentrating
8. Stress is most always present when we go through any form of mental and/or physical illness.
9. Depression is a medical condition of it's very own. Depression is the result of the mind and/or body being overwhelmed with illness or sadness on some level.
10. Suicidal Tendencies are frequently highly stigmatized, and those experiencing suicidal ideation struggle to be heard and understood.
11. Sleep disorders (insomnia, night terrors, and sleep walking) is a disorder in the sleep patterns of a person or animal. Some sleep disorders can interfere with mental and emotional function.
12. Psychotic-like symptoms is a generic psychiatric term for a mental state in which thought and perception are severely impaired. Persons experiencing a psychotic episode may experience hallucinations, hold delusional beliefs (e.g., paranoid delusions), demonstrate personality changes and exhibit disorganized thinking.
13. Trance "Self Hypnosis" or "out of body experience" is an altered state of consciousness.
14. Self-harm is injury inflicted by a person upon his or her own body, whether conscious or unconscious.
Just like I've already mentioned, most of the symptoms of this disorder tend to mimic other mental disorders and I urge you to be cautious of accepting MP/DID as your diagnosis without researching and evaluating your past behavior and family history.
Dissociation
Dissociation is the primary symptom of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and is exactly what is happening when a person has this disorder, which is why it was renamed from "Multiple Personality Disorder" (MPD) to "Dissociative Identity Disorder" (DID).
However the presence of alter personalities is the one characteristic that defines multiple personalities.
When a person is in a dissociative state of mind we may feel like we are daydreaming or just not aware of our surroundings. But any distraction such as a loud noise or smell will usually bring us out of a dissociative state of mind. In fact we usually feel silly and awkward that we may have appeared "in another world" so we might make a comment something like "WOW where was I!"
Have you ever experienced a traumatic episode such as an accident or the sudden loss of someone near and dear to you? Did you experience loss of time or things were going so fast that everything seemed like a blur and later you had troubles remembering the episode and even the next few days after? And what about dealing with the kids and their music and talking constantly, do you block them out automatically? I'm starting to dissociate just thinking about that one! That is what dissociation feels like and truly is!
And what about the soldiers who go to war and return home mentally and emotionally disturbed and even with severe amnesia? I cannot imagine having to experience the tragedy and terror that they face and then have to live with it in their minds day in and day out. Their minds are only able to absorb a small amount of what they witness and experience so their minds are forced to automatically dissociate just so they can preserve the little bit of sanity that they are surrounded with.
Everybody dissociates, it's our minds way of taking a break from our surroundings, much like taking a break at our job to rest our body, but our minds only way of doing so is to shut down temporarily. I'm sure you'll recognize this in yourself as you drive down a familiar road and your mind wonders off and all of a sudden you're at your destination without remembering the journey. But other times you may even pass the turn that you've made so often before.
The difference is that the ordinary individual dissociates occasionally, whereas the traumatized individual who has MPD/DID, dissociates on a regular basis!